Every time I’ve played this game, I’ve told myself that I’ll do the planets in a different order and every time, I always go to Korriban last because I just can’t help myself. When you do Korriban last, you get all these hilarious new dialogue options where you can tell people that you’re Revan and they just do not believe you. The other really fun part about Korriban depends on who you take with you. For maximum hilarity, I usually go with Canderous and Jolee because their commentary on everything is THE BEST. (Although I’m not sure now whether Jolee’s snarky remarks when you have to tell the Sith that your companions are slaves are cringe worthy or amusing.)

In a way, Korriban is kind of like a darker Telos. You briefly encounter people you’ll encounter again later as you make your way through the city and then—okay so I’m not entirely clearly as to why (aside from video game laws) we couldn’t just go around the Sith Academy but we don’t. Instead you have to get accepted as a student there. This couldn’t possibly go wrong. Once accepted, Master Uthar makes you and the other new students (yeah those people you met before) compete to be America’s Next Top Sith Apprentice and this, my friends, is where the funs begins.

I got to run around like I was Doctor Aphra with Force powers! No really, I did! Half of the ways you can impress the Sith involve raiding all the Sith tombs in the valley and having to kill a lot of people/beasts along the way and just not care. It’s fun! (Okay but now I want a story in which Aphra goes to Korriban…)

Meanwhile, we find Carth’s Lil Jerk of a Son in the Academy. Dustil’s drunk the Sith KoolAide and is really not keen on a family reunion. Honestly, if he wasn’t Carth’s kid, I totally would have hit him over the head and tied him up somewhere until we left the Academy because he is just that irritating. Carth better be glad that I truly, deeply love him even if I haven’t said it because this game is seriously unfair when it comes to the romances. That, however, is a rant for another time. ANYWAYS. We show him proof that the Sith Are EVIL and he sees the error of his ways. I do not care about this in the least but Carth is happy and will now talk to me about things aside from his stupid son… like how I’m actually Darth Revan. This is actually a really nice conversation and makes me love Carth all the more because he accepts that you’re both Revan and not that person anymore. I just really love my Space Husband Carth Onasi, okay???

Needless to say, we are the most impressive of them all and Master Uthar has only one picture in his hands but it’s fine because it’s ours and he loves us the best so we get to go pass one final test which just happens to be where the last Star Forge map piece is. I actually really love this part of the game because you not only have to do the usually fighting against these tricky giant beasts but you also have to use your brain for a logic puzzle. (I am a nerd and the logic puzzles were my favorite part of the LSAT.) It’s not a terribly tricky one but I like thinking my way through it. And from there I basically just have to kill every single Sith and fight my way past Uthar and Yuthara and then through the Academy to get back to the city. I feel like this probably shouldn’t be the Jedi way and yet…

It’s all good though because now we have ALL of the Star Forge map pieces and we can go… somewhere. Yeah, I bet this is going to go juuuuuuuust fine and nothing bad at all will happen. (Oh, I almost forgot. I went back to the Yavin station and fought those mean Trandoshans and now I have a super cool lightsaber crystal. Yay!) But next time… yeah we’re going to finish this game. Who’s ready to beat the Sith and kick Malak’s butt?! (I’m not ready. Oh boy am I not ready.)