I love one (1) Doctor Chelli Lona Aphra. So much. She’s not perfect; in fact, she’s a little bit terrible at times but that just makes me love her more.

Spoilers for Aphra doing terrible things and also being very, very gay beneath the cut.

Shall we start happy this time? Let’s start happy this time. I’d like to formally thank both Kieron Gillen and Si Spurrier for getting more and more blatant with showing us that Aphra’s a lesbian. Within a few years, we’ve gone from lines that were a *hint hint wink wink* to a straight up ‘morning after’ scene and I could not be more grateful. It means the world to me to see Aphra’s sexuality being (for lack of a better term) whole-heartedly embraced and shown to us as just a part of who she is. This isn’t a Very Special Storyline; it’s just a normal romance for Aphra. It is, much like she is, a mess but I cannot wait to see how it continues to develop especially since Tolvan now knows her real name and is keeping that secret.

And then we come to the slightly less happy stuff. In a recent interview (shut up yes I’m linking to an interview I did), Si Spurrier said there was a moment in this issue where everything would be “re-contextualized” and holy hell was he right. It’s something that not only puts Aphra into a new light but also Triple Zero. After all, he’s been the one who’s been getting Aphra to do all of these horrible things not just because he like seeing horrible things happen in the galaxy but also because he wanted Aphra to realize that she’s more like him than she’d realized. And that’s, to put it bluntly, horrifying. I don’t think that Aphra is just like Triple Zero and she doesn’t either but the woman certainly doesn’t avoid doing some less than savory things without so much as blinking an eye. As Aphra puts it, “N-no. No! I’m not sick! I just… I get things wrong. I’m selfish. I… I use people but… I don’t expect to sleep well. Ever.” This is what really got me and made her feel so incredibly real. To be, this is part of the appeal of her character in addition to representation. She frequently doesn’t get things right and she’s usually one skip away from disaster but she somehow makes it through. This is a page that’s going to stick with me for a long time.

As for what’s next for Aphra… prison. It’s going to be a crazy and probably not fun time for her but after how fantastic this arc was? I can’t wait to see what’s next.

Doctor Aphra #19: Kieron Gillen and Si Spurrier/Writers, Emilio Laiso/Artist, Rachelle Rosenberg/Colors, Joe Caramagna/Letterer, Heather Antos with Emily Newcomen/Assistant Editor, Jordan D. White with Mark Paniccia/Editor