The majority of my teen years sucked. I was one of those kids who was a permanent outcast—I was geeky and nerdy, and for a teenage girl, that can be the kiss of death. I had two friends in middle school, both of whom shared an enthusiasm for Star Wars.
But I wanted to be part of the cliques. I wanted boys to notice me, not because I was weird, but because they noticed me. Every time I was skipped over for an invitation to a party, left out of a social activity, or out and out ignored, I felt like I was being stabbed in the heart. We take these things more seriously when we’re 13.
TPM had just come out. My best friend and I soaked up every piece of information The Star Wars Insider had to offer. And most importantly, for Christmas in 1999, my aunt bought me Kevin J. Anderson and Rebecca Moesta’s Young Jedi Knights: Shards of Alderaan.
I immediately fell in love with the character of Tenel Ka. She was strong, she chose who she wanted to be, and she got past being different to find acceptance. I wanted to be Tenel Ka.
As I got older, I moved on to the adult novels, and I wanted to be Mara Jade. She was even better than Tenel Ka, because Mara had emotions and wasn’t afraid to show them. She was who she wanted to be, with no apologies.
It wasn’t until I got to college that I realized that there were other people like me, but by the time I got there, I’d finally come to grips with the idea that I could be whoever I wanted to be, thanks primarily to the characters of Tenel Ka and Mara Jade.
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